Valentine’s Day may be coming up soon, but relationships are not always love and roses. Most relationships will face conflicts and challenges. We can’t always avoid conflict. Being a good partner, friend, neighbor, colleague, means facing those conflicts and finding solutions.
Sometimes it feels as though we have been harmed by someone without bearing any responsibility. However there is usually another side to the story. Being honest about the role we play in conflicts with others is important for our growth. But facing our feelings is also key to developing the language to confront those we have to have those tough conversations with.
When someone has upset you, you have an opportunity to approach that person and communicate. Tell them how their actions made you feel, and ask them to respond. Some people cannot help but lash out in response – to point out your flaws. When that happens, try not to be rattled or go on the defensive. Listen to them, and politely respond by saying that you would be happy to talk about that at a later time and could we return to the issue you raised?
Brushing things under the rug can potentially only cause us more stress or harm. But there has to be a responsible and respectful approach to having those hard conversations. Tell the person that you are committed to repairing the relationship, if that is your intent. And if peace cannot be made, say thank you to the other person for the role they have played in your life and walk away. Most relationships are worth the hard work but there are exceptions.
One great benefit of yoga is that it builds self-awareness and emotional intelligence. We are given opportunities throughout our practice to listen, respond, and react. It may be to our yoga instructor, to the others sharing space with us, to the environment around us, or even our own physical and emotional responses. You make a commitment when you step onto your mat, to do your best. Doing your best means experiencing all of it – the joy, the discomfort, the awkwardness, and the ultimate benefit. The same is true of all our relationships. They ask us to change.
It's when we are asked to change in ways that do not benefit us and others that give us good reason to pause, reflect, and find another way.
How do you handle conflict resolution and how can yoga help you be a better communicator?